More about missing my “dear friend”. (Sometimes when we break a habit or addiction we find ourselves missing it like a dear friend)
When I finally quit smoking I had completed my relationship with using smoking as a tool for many things. For me smoking was having something to do with my hands and taking a deep breath for creating a place or sense of relaxation. During my 25-30 years of smoking a pack of cigarettes a day, I quit many times, only to return to the habit which slowly became an addiction. It all started in college where we were able to smoke in class. Who of you wouldn’t want to smoke a pack of cigarettes during economics 101? lol We would smoke on airplanes, in movie theaters, restaurants, in our homes and most all public spaces. Smoking was considered “cool” and the social acceptance was huge. My parents smoked, my wife smoked, our friends smoked, we were hooked.
In this case my “dear friend” became, “social acceptance, dealing with stress and a sense of relaxation” I was in love with it. I couldn’t wait to get to that familiar place every waking moment by smoking. Each day became a fight with my thoughts and desires. When I would give it up, I would miss those things. It became more frustrating to quit then to continue smoking, I stopped and started many times. It felt like an all out war between my desire to live a healthier life and my “dear friend” Fortunately for me, societies acceptance changed and my continued smoking created more discomfort and frustration then I could tolerate, so I finally was able to give it up.
Every moment in our lives create opportunities to develop and foster new “dear friends” new familiar places, creating new habits and new addictions. I still connect to the need to do something to stay busy, and create a place and sense of relaxation, and sometimes find myself off a healthy path. I find myself having to always be conscious of who my new “dear friend” is and why. I try hard to live clean and healthy and work towards finding spiritual awareness and wisdom. Is that an addiction? Because, I’m to tired for more wars.
I know this topic doesn’t begin to address the multitude of addictions but, I feel the “dear friend” reference is similar. Here’s hoping our “dear friend” (familiar place) can be acceptance, peace, love and joy without unhealthy behaviors and thoughts. As one of my “dear friends” shared yesterday “rather than hating your dear old friends, we somehow need to make them into our pets. They must be appreciated for propeling us forward. But that’s all, there are much better friends waiting”
While I continue to move forward on my journey with hope and love in my heart, I continue to see opportunity and pray for peace in our world. I’ll pray for you too.
“Blessings on your journey”