Change

Dedicated to my friend Sacha:

All the buried seeds crack open in the dark the instant they surrender to a process they can’t see.

– Mark Nepo –

Change is a transformative process that grows out of buried seeds, seeds that surrender to a process they can’t see.  We, contemplate breaking out of the plan we made for ourself and for a better life. We, consider going back to the job we hate, returning to relationships that step on our heart, taking that drink or pill instead of continuing to make amends and deal with our shit.  Change is terrifying by its very nature.

We like to see ourselves as good people, as people who do the right thing, as people who say “please” and “thank you,” as people who care about other people and devote time and energy to others. It takes a tremendous love of truth to allow whatever that picture of ourselves is to fall from its elevated position on the wall, and shatter. It takes faith, trust and a willingness to enter the darkness of failure and the unknown.  The irony, however, is that the wall and the elevated image of ourselves is what imprisons us. The ground that shatters could be viewed as the painful, but freeing, action of Love. Picking up the pieces of that shattered image and continually placing it back in its prison cell on the wall is a safe and familiar solution.   And, transformative change, like love itself, can never be forced upon us.

Transformative change requires our participation to germinate and grow. No matter what our situation, we have a choice. Continue to open to the heart-renching action of love? Or shut down, harden, and quit.  Why do you think so many people walk around virtually dead in this world? Because reaching for life is scary. You have to be out of your mind to do it, and I mean that literally.  I’m scared too.

”Blessings on your journey”

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