Who wants a true connection with someone?

Going back to my thoughts on facades the other day, here are some interesting thoughts from my new friend Zat.

You are a different person at home than you are at work. You are a different person offline than you are online. You are different person in one sub-culture in your life (say, a book club dedicated to science-fiction) than you are in another one (say, a Sunday league where you play football).

Due to various social norms, we have to hide some parts of ourselves in front of certain people and in certain places, which — again — isn’t itself a problem, but the simple habit of doing so generates subtle lies that we tell both ourselves and other people. And eventually, these lies begin to build on each other, leading to a number of fragmented selves that don’t integrate.

A true connection with someone occurs when you show them your whole self, as they show you theirs, warts and differences and all, simply accepting that not everyone is going to relate to it. Modernity, unfortunately, makes that very difficult with its various, complex norms, in spite of the fact that we are now superficially connected all the time.

If we don’t actively work to reconcile our different parts into a cohesive, integrated whole that we expose to the world, in complete truth and honesty, then we are not going to find what we are looking for.

Before you accept the company and the connection of another person, you have to first do the work to accept yourself.


“Blessings on your journey”


One thought on “Who wants a true connection with someone?”

  1. it boils down to trust in order for us to be able to show our broken selves to each other. Only in the presence of non judgement and unconditional love can this happen!


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