Most every night if I wakeup, I have some kind of an experience. Last night, I woke up feeling alone. Not scared or fearful, just alone. Until I fell asleep again, I lay there with that thought, why do I feel alone? As I sit here this morning after my meditation and putting the final touches on a memorial video honoring families we served this past year, I’m feeling confused. Are we alone? Are we living and dying on our own? Every one of those 65 pictures I placed on the video timeline died and lived on their own. Their stories reflecting a past of experience shared by many, weaving a tapestry of many colors and size I know little about. How did they work with that? How do I work with that? It makes the times in which I live feel different somehow. When I look at the pictures I see faces of every age and circumstance, young, old, sick, healthy. The stories peel off in all directions with the final outcome the same.
So, I took a break from writing this post as the conclusion to my thinking was “OK, I’m alone” and I wasn’t happy about how that felt. After all, I’ve studied, researched, and believe in a universal consciousness and that we are all connected and one with each other, yet I’m still feeling alone. Whats up with that? If I really believed that, I shouldn’t feel alone, right? In the car as I drove to the lake this morning, I remembered the saying “and I love that“. Kyle Cease taught us to use this when we needed a wake up call. As soon as I thought those words, my feeling of being alone changed in an instant “and I love that”. A smile returned to my face, the struggle, the internal fight of feeling alone, gone. Try it yourself sometime. I switched the radio station to some christmas carols and the song Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas came on, these words specifically.
Once again as in olden days
Happy golden days of yore
Faithful friends who are dear to us
Will be near to us, once more
Someday soon we all will be together
If the fates allow
Until then we’ll to muddle through somehow
So have yourself a merry little Christmas now
With all my muddling done for the moment, I’ll rest assured that faithful friends who are dear to us will be near to us, once more.
“Blessings on your journey”