Tragic events

Sometime ago, a good friend asked me to write about suicide.  I have had way to much experience working with families that have had to struggle with the why’s and what  if’s of loved ones taking their own lives.  All of the stories sound unique because of personalities, relationships, manner of death etc.  Yet, they are all very similar.

One story I will share is the mother who wondered “WHY” her son did this.  He left no note and there were no specific warning signs or previous efforts.  She spoke with us at a funeral directors convention many years ago.  After the presentation I spoke with her.  I asked her how long she asked the question “WHY” Her response, was so perfect.  She said, “after two and a half years of asking WHY, I decided I just couldn’t do it anymore!!”

The other story I tell is about a good friend of mine, who lost his son to suicide.  Although his son had struggled with depression and relationship issues, he had recently found new purpose and friends in volunteering.  He was beginning to put his struggles behind, or so it seemed when it happened.  As we approached the day of putting his son’s body to rest, I asked my friend how he was doing. It was evident that he was struggling and working hard to find some understanding, not just for his own benefit but to help everyone.  If there was anyone who would figure it out, I knew he would.  When I asked how he was doing, he told me he had figured it out.  We went to the study and sat down to talk.  As his expression took on a sad but compassionate and loving softness, he said to me “Mark, If my son were sitting here with me right now, he would say Dad, I’m sorry, I made a mistake, I was not in my right mind”

I will never forget it and I share the story with all the families that are confronted with this horrific event. What I’ve learned is, we’re all human and sometimes we make mistakes because we’re not in our right mind. The difference is sometimes it can take place where reason, understanding, hope and resilience does not exist.  A place where there are no more solutions or options.

In our life we will experience tragic events that happen to people we know and love.  Often we will never know the reason or have the answers to the many questions we ask.  Often it will come when we least expect it and in the blink of an eye.  Life is designed to be a mystery and I believe and have learned while it may not always be obvious, we have the ability to handle it.  Within us is a wisdom and love so profound yet often untouched, unknown about and experienced until tragedy strikes.  Let’s not wait for that!!

”Blessings on your journey”

For many more of these life changing and supportive stories order my book “Living and Dying” Finding Love and Hope in the Journey of Loss at http://www.mkanthony.com

Broken hearted

A heart that has been broken and seen pain, reveals within it, a crack that allows more light in.  MADISYN TAYLOR

There are many life altering situations flowing in and around our daily life experience. While I expect changes day to day, they still are shocking when they come to fruition.  Some changes sneak up on me very slowly and others drop in with a “Big Bang”.  The affect of these heart wounding events, trigger thoughts and emotions, and bring forth physical symptoms that can wash over me in waves.  In my lifetime I have come to believe and see these as opportunities for miracles. That crack that breaks us open allows more light in, revealing to me the miracle of love and peace the more I surrender and open to it.  But heartbreak, like all emotions, falls under the spell of our consciousness influence, not everyone can make the transition, fearing damaging ourselves further.

If you, like me are one who is experiencing heartbreak from loss, know that you are not alone, that there is hope and the possibility for miracles.  If there are clouds in the sky blocking the light from our view, know the light is still there, just hidden from our sight. Much love and peace to you.

”Blessings on your journey”

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Light walkers

There are many people in the world that hold and carry light. When they turn and shine their light towards me, I feel safe, needed and valued. When they turn to go I can never forget how I felt in their presence. And when they turn back I can feel that same familiar light as if it never left.  These people have an outward-looking perspective, they direct their gaze and light beyond themselves and into our living experiences.  Like listening and sharing, they build a framework of existence that is inter-dependent. Thank You!

“Enveloped in Your Light, may I be a beacon to those in search of Light. Sheltered in Your Peace, may I offer shelter to those in need of peace. Embraced by Your Presence, so may I be present to others”.

RABBI RAMI SHAPIRO

“Blessings on your journey”

http://www.mkanthony.com

I am fine

I wrote this a year ago. Giddy up!!

I am fine, not bad, not good, fine.  I will be OK.  Even in the midst of todays challenges, I will be OK.  If I die tomorrow, I will be OK.  If anyone else dies tomorrow, I will be Ok.  If my house burns down, I will be OK.  If one of my employees quit, if I fail to connect or satisfy a family in our business for whatever reason, If I fail as a mentor or boss, I will be OK.  If I fail as a husband, father or friend, I will be OK.  (Insert your ideas here!)

I will be OK because I don’t want or choose the other options, and I will learn.

While my thoughts are a little dark today and I don’t naturally want any of the above things to happen, they will to someone.  And while many of life’s changes are scary to me they will also challenge and be scary to others I know.  I also recognize any major changes in my life will change me in different ways.  I will be forced out, or have to step out of  my comfort zone into areas that make me stretch, take risks, and possibly even enter areas with unknown consequences and results.

First, I will practice stretching outside of my comfort zone (ex. blogging)  When I’m comfortable living in the stretch zone, I will practice in the risk zone (ex. writing a book).  When I’m comfortable living in the risk zone, I will move out into the unknown zone (TBD)  My goal is to be so comfortable at living in the unknown area (my new comfort zone) that there would be nothing that could concern, scare of worry me.  Join me!!

”Blessings on your journey”

http://www.mkanthony.com

Bring it!

Folks, in case you were wondering with all the banter and noise in our world, we’re all in this together.  So, let’s bring it!!

Our fates are tied. We have this strange notion on this planet that our fates are not tied. If it were not so we would not be here together. It’s that simple.   LUISAH TEISH

”Blessings on your journey”

Www.mkanthony.com

Farewell

Change –it’s the constant of our lives. With every stage of living, we lose people, places and things that we love. We may not lose them to death, but saying ‘good-bye’ to those who are leaving us, saying ‘until we meet again’, ‘farewell’ to places, things or those left behind as we journey forth -each is an event which is similar to death.  In each, we die, we end something, just a little.

Each event, each change is worthy of remembrance, gratitude, acceptance, and each deserves to be released. We must let go, and move on; it is apart of living and dying, after all, there are many new people, places, things and animal companions just waiting for us to meet, and to love. New life, new journeys, stories, relationships, etc emerge from that which leaves us. Think of a hillside after a forest fire. It usually springs beautiful flowers through the ashen laid hills of the burnt ash, it is a vital part of life’s cycle of renewal.

Let us open the doors of our hearts and embrace all of our goodbyes and hello’s, let us carry them with us in our hearts and memories.

And let us be be well, and fare well!!

”Blessings on your journey”

http://www.mkanthony.com

Left alone

Many of you know the story of my birth mother and father divorcing when I was a child.  I’ve have had many years to play the story around in my head because I never heard the whole story from either parent. It was obvious that there was significant pain attached to their life story and family history, and I did not want to add more discomfort or stress to their lives.  It was obvious that just my presence was a reminder and difficult enough.  I had a good life growing up with my father and his extended family. I did not spend any time with my mother or her family until after I was married. Although I was never told I was loved by my parents, I experienced love from my family.

Lately I have been somewhat consumed by the fact there are no pictures, no history or evidence of me as a child with my mother and father.  As you can imagine its had its affect on me.  I have often given it thought as I examine the layers and layers of emotions and circumstance.  I have played out all the angles in my mind, I have imagined all the possibilities and difficulties leaving me with the only option, forgiveness.

“Blessings on your journey”

http://www.mkathony.com