Joy – for our hearts!

From “Living and Dying” the book

I had the experience of living in a state of joy for two weeks around the time of my sixtieth birthday. I like to tell the story of a dream I had at that time, which is where the experience began. In the dream, I was having breakfast with my two-year-old grandson at my favorite diner in Livonia NY. He looked to me when he saw a bird fly by and asked me, “Ba Ba,” (he calls me Ba Ba,) and he really couldn’t talk in real life, “how come birds can fly?” My response was, “Because it’s their nature.” After a reflective pause in the conversation, I then asked my grandson, “What is our nature?” His immediate response was, “Our nature’s to love, Ba Ba” and then went casually back to eating his breakfast. As I let that moment of childhood innocence and powerful truth flow over and through me, an overwhelming feeling of love and joy filled my being. I could only think of one thing so I asked him, “How come so many of us don’t follow our nature?” He said, “It’s because we can think. Animals can’t think and when you can think, you can forget.”

The dream brought me tears of joy for weeks after as I truly saw only love everywhere and for everyone I came into contact with. Whether it was the checkout girl at the register, the gas attendant, my family, or friends, I could only feel joy and love for everyone, I was love in its fullest. It was during that time when I realized that we all have the choice to shape our experience into what it is that we want, and only we can make that happen for ourselves.

Weeks later I returned to the other world, the back and forth world of love and fear. Often when I felt removed from love, I would notice a sense of being lost which made me angry, unloving and in some way less than I wanted to be and feel. It was in this struggle with loss that I became aware of my own loss of connection. When I felt lost I would spend time in my head trying to figure it all out. Why was it happening? What was wrong with me? Why, why, why? It was this back and forth activity ‘life’ that brought me to this place today. What I learned and continue to learn is all of our struggles are merely opportunities for re-direction, re-orienting us to find our path. They are really a blessing, a gift. I soon realized that when I felt lost, it was only because I had lost my way—taken a detour off the main highway. Because it was such a frequent event in my life, I just didn’t really notice it.

The experience of those two weeks of pure love and joy brought me to a place where I now recognize more frequently that feeling of disconnection—and I don’t like it. If we can find a way to re-orient our attention with our source, getting back to that main highway, when we feel these things, we can find our way back. We can return to the place that connects us with all things in our universe, a perpetual energy zone where all things are possible. Maybe all we need is a good map!

“Blessings on your journey”


If you or someone you love is suffering loss this year, here is a daily grief support message from our funeral homes web site. Anyone can sign up for these grief support messages at

Regret is often a common form of sorrow after we lose a loved one. If only we had told our loved one what we were thinking or what was troubling us. We can spend days, months and years wishing we had one more chance to share our thoughts. Instead, we can just know in our hearts that they already knew what we were thinking.

Regret is an emotional reaction to past acts and behaviors; usually linked to sadness, embarrassment or guilt. You cannot change the past after the death of a loved one, so do not feel remorse, but instead look forward.

To help you move from regret to we lived “our lives to the fullest”, remember your loved one knew you better than you could have imagined and they knew you loved them.

“Blessings on your journey”

Right and Wrong!

Have you been following the news and the discussion around impeachment? It is very apparent to me that the interpretation of right and wrong revolves around the idea of how we see the data.
Isn’t it true about everything and everyone we deal with?
How we see the world, how we process our past experiences and thoughts affect our decisions and direction. If we lean to the left, we lean that way. If we lean to the right, we lean that way. It is the lens we view our world that dictates our reality.

The way we lean is “our” right way.

“Blessings on your journey”

In troubled times

Someone once said “We don’t see the world as it is. We see the world as we are” — thus our lenses of perception inform our experience, we bring ourselves, our biases, our expectations to the doorstep of every moment.

Knowing this, we can choose to become more conscious of how we see, steward and direct our attention in ways that serve our inner life and make us and the world around us more whole.

“Blessings on your journey”

In troubled times, breathe in and breathe out (repeat)

Surrender to the ride !

Trying to maintain control in this life is a bit like trying to maintain control on a roller coaster. The ride has its own logic and is going to go its own way, regardless of how tightly you grip the bar. There is a thrill and a power in simply surrendering to the ride and fully feeling the ups and downs of it, letting the curves take you rather than fighting them. When you fight the ride, resisting what’s happening at every turn, your whole being becomes tense and anxiety is your close companion. When you go with the ride, accepting what you cannot control, freedom and joy will inevitably arise.

“Blessings on your journey”

There are times!

There are times when we may feel disconnected from the world. Our actions can seem like they are of no major consequence, and we may feel like we exist in our own vacuum. Yet, the truth is that our simplest thought or action — the decisions we make each day, and how we see and relate to the world — can be incredibly significant and have a profound impact on the lives of those around us, as well as the world at large. The earth and everything on it is bound by an invisible connection between people, animals, plants, the air, the water, and the soil. Insignificant actions on your part, whether positive or negative, can have an impact on people and the environment that seem entirely separate from your personal realm of existence. Staying conscious of the interconnection between all things can help you think of your choices and your life in terms of the broader effect you may be creating.

“Blessings on your journey”

Here is my gift to you

With all the powerfully negative energy surrounding us these days , it’s of paramount importance as to how we navigate our journey through. If we embrace and hold this energy as real we will enter its discord, anxiety, struggle, pain and fear, we will perpetuate and allow for it to control us and those around us. Our very state of being allows us to fall or hopefully rise above all of this. While it may feel very real and may look very real, “our response/reaction” is what is controlling us and causing our discord, uncertainty and struggle, or conversely peace. We are the creator!!!

If you are feeling anxiety, fear, discord, FEAR you are not alone. While I have written about this before, Here is my gift to you today.

Neutrality – the state of not supporting or helping either side in a conflict, disagreement, etc.; impartiality.

This morning I woke up with the concept of neutrality front of mind. I thought it odd to have this word being expressed to me so clearly, but, I sense it has something to do with my being a good observer. When I’m actively being an “observer” (which I do well), I am not supporting any side in conflict, I am neutral, I do not have a dog in the fight. And, even though I still have my own opinion, i am not perpetuating the fight, the struggle, the scrum. As you may know, this can be a challenge at times. If I can remain In that neutral place, I will have no negative feelings or discomfort while still seeing the conflict clearly. Ultimately, all of this will pass in time but it takes practice (do the time please!!!).

Bottom line, If we don’t “support the conflict” we don’t feed the beast (the ego) which allows the conflict to settle or dissipate within us, potentially ending or at least calming the struggle. This simple yet powerful effort allows for all of the negative energy and conflict to pass through and away. It will literally dissipate until it raises its ugly head again, which it does (that’s life by the way). Unfortunately at this time in life we are being asked to assist in a transition of consciousness not seen before. These times are part of a universal change, a growth of spirit and we need to allow for it. We need to embrace each other with all of our warts and differences. We indeed are all in it together and we need your help.

Neutrality – the state of not supporting or helping either side in a conflict.  Isn’t that love?

“Blessings on your journey”