Farewell

Change –it’s the constant of our lives. With every stage of living, we lose people, places and things that we love. We may not lose them to death, but saying ‘good-bye’ to those who are leaving us, ‘farewell’ to places, things or those left behind as we journey forth – each is an event which is similar to death.  In each, we die, just a little.

Each is worthy of remembrance, and each deserves to be released. We must let go, and move on; after all, there are many new people, places, things and animal companions just waiting for us to meet, and to love. New life emerges from that which dies. Think of a hillside after a forest fire. It usually springs beautiful flowers through the ashen laid hills of the burnt ash.

Let us open the doors of our hearts and embrace them.

Fare well!!

”Blessings on your journey”

http://www.mkanthony.com

Blaming game

It was in the early 1950’s when my father and mother fell in love and married.  My mother, a beautiful, free spirit, creative, intuitive, classically trained pianist and graduate of Eastman School of music from a broken west side family and my father, a love struck, fun loving, free spirit, dreamer of a man born to a hard working east side, blue collar family.

The divorce happened early in their time together.  The story goes that my mother wanted to break away from my fathers controlling family and do their own thing.  He succumbed to his family’s presesure to stay, she did not.  To this day I cannot imagine the pain, struggle and emotional suffering they endured.  I could see it in their eyes yet, they never talked about it.

For many years I blamed her for leaving, I mean how could a parent leave their child? I would never do that!

Well, it happens and it happens every day in the world we live in. The daily news reveals the struggle for power and control in politics, the news and social media and the lives of the many individuals who use it poorly.  We are at epidemic levels, and are witnessing the crash and burn phase now (rightfully so).  We are acting like teenagers.  People are getting blamed and hurt, and this will continue, until we grow up.

For my mom, she grew up wanting more than her family could offer.  She was going to change the world and lead her life as a powerful and capable woman.  She was going to have whatever she wanted and would get it “at any cost”.  As I learned this I realized I could not blame her, she knew no other option!  My dad, grew up to honor the head of the household (his father) or be dis-owned and cast out of the family.  How could I blame him?

Acually, I carried blame and maintained judgment of my parents for many many years until I realized it was only keeping me from growing. I was partially paralyzed by blame, never able to fully live my own authentic life free of it.  As I continue to work through my personal and emotional issues with life, I find that by dropping blame and judgment of others I can move on to new frontiers.  For me, I’m learning that means letting go of blaming myself for a multitude of things.  Blaming myself for not being good enough as a son which would have kept my parents together.  Not good enough as a husband, father, friend, business owner, boss, etc.

Truth is I’ve been blaming myself for years, paralyzing and sabotaging my growth as an authentic voice and example in a world of chaos.  While I believe I’ve failed at times, I’m learning (the result of being willing).  I truly believe that if I learn enough, I might be able to change the world!

In short, if we love ourselves as we want to be loved, we can create the world and life we know we deserve.  Pretty cool, Huh?

”Blessings on your journey”

http://www.mkanthony.com

Blame

Three monoths ago I started writing a post on the inappropriate sexual behaviors of celebrities and people of power.  I have wanted to write about subjects surronding our sexual behaviors and thinking lately, yet I feel the world may be a bit to fragile right now.  Truthfully, I’m a little scared to write about it.

So, I opened my email and found this post from Madison Taylor.  In it you’ll find thoughts that connect to my post yesterday, and thoughts that can be applied to all the behavior we witness today.  Enjoy!

Blaming Others

BY MADISYN TAYLOR
We cannot insist that someone else take responsibility for their actions; only they can make that choice when they are ready.
As we begin to truly understand that the world outside of us is a reflection of the world inside of us, we may feel confused about who is to blame for the problems in our lives. If we had a difficult childhood, we may wonder how we can take responsibility for that, and in our current relationships, the same question arises. We all know that blaming others is the opposite of taking responsibility, but we may not understand how to take responsibility for things that we don’t truly feel responsible for. We may blame our parents for our low self-esteem, and we may blame our current partner for exacerbating it with their unconscious behavior. Objectively, this seems to make sense. After all, it is not our fault if our parents were irresponsible or unkind, and we are not to blame for our partner’s bad behavior.

Perhaps the problem lies with the activity of blaming. Whether we blame others or blame ourselves, there is something aggressive and unkind about it. It sets up a situation in which it becomes difficult to move forward under the burdensome feelings of shame and guilt that arise. It also puts the resolution of our pain in the hands of someone other than us. Ultimately, we cannot insist that someone else take responsibility for their actions; only they can make that choice when they are ready. In the meantime, if we want to move forward with our lives instead of waiting around for something that may or may not happen, we begin to see the wisdom of taking the situation into our own hands.

We do this by forgiving our parents, even if they have not asked for our forgiveness, so that we can be free. We end the abusive relationship with our partner, who may never admit to any wrongdoing, because we are willing to take responsibility for how we are treated. In short, we love ourselves as we want to be loved and create the life we know we deserve. We leave the resolution of the wrongs committed against us in the hands of the universe, releasing ourselves to live a life free of blame.

”Blessings on your journey”

http://www.mkanthony.com

Left alone

Many of you know the story of my birth mother and father divorcing when I was a child.  I’ve have had many years to play the story around in my head because I never heard the whole story from either parent. It was obvious that there was significant pain attached to their life story and family history, and I did not want to add more discomfort or stress to their lives.  It was obvious that just my presence was a reminder and difficult enough.  I had a good life growing up with my father and his extended family. I did not spend any time with my mother or her family until after I was married. Although I was never told I was loved by my parents, I experienced love from my family.

Lately I have been somewhat consumed by the fact there are no pictures, no history or evidence of me as a child with my mother and father.  As you can imagine its had its affect on me.  I have often given it thought as I examine the layers and layers of emotions and circumstance.  I have played out all the angles in my mind, I have imagined all the possibilities and difficulties leaving me with the only option, forgiveness.

“Blessings on your journey”

http://www.mkathony.com

Shining the light

Over four months ago I started writing a daily blog about my thoughts, ideas, dreams and share with the world in an authentic way. Today I woke up a little dull and foggy with no specific thoughts or ideas to write about (nothing).  Rather than be panicked or concerned (OK, for maybe a couple minutes) I didn’t have anything to write, I just sat down and started writing.  I am so grateful to have learned to trust and believe in the light that shines in each of us, a light that is eternal, full of wisdom, love and peace. There are days when it shines bright and others where it is barley visible, but it is always there.  Today, it was barely visible, yet the longer I sit here and write, the stronger the light is getting.  My writing started out heading in many directions yet has morphed to this very simple and beautiful thought.  I feel good, at peace, clear headed and loving this moment. My light is shining.

Feeling light within, I walk.” ~ Navajo Night Chant

“Blessings on your journey”

http://www.mkanthony.com