We need a new leader!!

I’m taken by the reactions and behaviors of all those in the political and media world in the USA today (please add.  Looking from afar and painting with a big brush, it would appear to me, that there is a war being waged.  I say that because of the expressions that I see being represented, like hatred, fear, distaste, distrust, disgust, (add your feeling here).  There are also some that are inspired, and supportive, etc. (add your feeling here).

What frightens me the most is the light it shines on who we are as a people, because it speaks volumes about our character.  The character trait that speaks the loudest to me is the one pertaining to leadership.  I have always appreciated the leader who inspires and moves me, Jesus, Buda, Mother Theresa, Nelson Mandela, Gandhi, Martin Luther King, Abraham Lincoln, (add your name here).  It was easy to try and follow their  doctrines, beliefs, and message if we just believed.  For thousands of years we have been trained and taught to be followers, following the beliefs and doctrines of others, it has been our path, our history.

Today, I believe all that is currently happening is because we are entering a newly developing age. Unfortunately, we’re beginning this development like children in our late teens (remember what that was like?). You can see it in our actions and behaviors, so be kind, it to will pass.  I also believe, more importantly, that “we” are being called to step up and lead, each and every one of us (take a big breath).  Lead by finding that place within us where we have never gone before, which makes it a little frightening.  The good news, all we need to do is be willing.  So, I would like to suggest you join me in finding that leader that breathes, inspires and moves us.  That leader who up until now has been hiding, and secretly waiting for this very moment.  That leader that holds space for and supports each other, that leader that loves, and leads without judgement, allowing for compromise and growth. That leader in YOU and ME.

”Blessings on your journey”

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Life is exhausting

Being present in a world of living and dying that spins around me everyday, running from one event to another, eating to much, drinking to much, working to much (add your thought here) pulls me off my center.  Not having, or making the time to re-charge, re-center, re-calibrate myself regularly, I run the risk of a malfunction or breakdown.  Breakdown from my source, the source that energizes, and lives me.

A few days ago I mentioned that I have a need or desire to have YOU hold a space for me.  Usually that need is a result of a breakdown within me.  One way I see it, I’m exhausted, my batteries are low and need re-charging.  I need to re-energize, to sit and reflect, re-focus, rebuild the wiring and strengthen the core.  Writing helps me, meditation helps and I make an effort to pay attention to my physical body and its needs.  One of my biggest realizations is, I’m not always aware that I’ve broken down because I have always toughed it out, been strong, been the MAN etc.

In my book I tell the story of exhausting by using the example of an automobile.  If you were to stuff a rag in the exhaust pipe of your car, after a time the engine would overheat and breakdown.  The human body is designed this way too, and it will break down in time.  This is where you come in.

When we get broken down (and we all do), we need each other.  We need to hold each other. We need to listen to each other. We need to love each other.  Holding space for those you know and love in this way, is the greatest gift we have to give.

“Blessing on your journey”

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What do you focus on?

Whatever I focus on, I will experience.

So, whenever I talk about “what is” or “what was,” even if I’m just explaining to a friendly ear, I project more of the same into the future.

If I ask more than I give thanks, I’ll believe less in my own power.

And if I insist that it’s hard and that I’m not good enough , I’ll find that it is and I am.

Or, I can choose to focus on what I like, what I love, and how amazing I am.

”Blessings on your journey”


Holding space

Can you hold space for me?  I have this incredible desire or need for people to hold space for me.  To me, it means you honor me and care enough to make the effort to hear what I have to say.  It just takes a minute to listen to me, hear me, don’t interrupt me and dont judge me, it helps me feel valued.  I also realize that it means I have to do the same for you too.  Sometimes that means I have to work harder than my selfish being wants to.  When I hold space for you, I am saying “I honor you, that you are important and have meaning in this world”  I dont even have to agree with you.  In essence I am saying I love you.  When you honor me, you too are loving me.  What a gift we can be to this world!!

Thank YOU for honoring me on my journey, AND,

“Blessings to YOU on your journey”

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Email from my friend

Yesterday, I received an email from a good friend suggesting he would not catagorize me as an over achiever.  He suggested that I more than likely achieved close to my potential, and he is right to some degree.  Perhaps I should have said, I have tendencies to over achieve when I’m challenged or looking to be liked or to be right, because there are certainly times when I don’t give a damn if people like me (lol).  Those tendencies were developed as a result of how I processed the circumstances of the world around me, it is the way I learned to protect and insulate myself.  I also have tendencies to drink to much, blame, shut down emotionally and get angry and depressed.  And, tendencies to be the best husband, father, friend, boss and all around spiritually based person I can be.  I believe that each of us experience these same challenges. Although they may appear in different ways or with different story lines they are the same. I experience pain from struggle, struggle from change and change from growth (movement).  My life was designed to be difficult, I would want it no other way (what would I have to write about, lol).

Finding tools that open doors to views within ourselves has been a centerpiece to my life of learning and yearning. Wether its EFT, meditation, exercise, being out in nature, golfing, sailing, painting, singing, working, writing daily blogs and books, they all are the blessings of my life here in this human existence.  They all bring me closer to my true essence and allow me to feel, experience and learn how to live.

My friend also shared his mantra for life. Which I leave with you today, it is this.

”In order to be happy, one has to let themselves be happy”  he goes on to say, pretty simple thought, yet not as easy to achieve as to say.  Thank you my friend!

“Blessings on your journey”


Over Achiever

Do you know anyone who is an over achiever.  I am.

Sixty-two years ago at the age of three I began my training.  It was around that time when my mother left me.  Imagine what it might be like for a young child to be put in the situation of figuring out why he didn’t have a mother anymore.  Between the ages of three and eight are the formative years that we begin to create our strategies and life plan from. Thinking I must not have been good enough to keep my mother around, I developed this amazing plan to get everyone to like me by being better than anyone.  I figured if I was really successful you would like me and wouldn’t leave, I decided to be an over acheiver.  I developed all the tools, I was funny, cute, athletic, musical, smart, and whatever I needed to be, to get you to like me. I created, pushed, manipulated and lied to be successful at all cost. While these traits served me well in many ways, there are parts that do not represent me in my most honest, purest and authentic way. I had no idea about that specific connection and what it meant until recently.  Until, I had a session with Carol Look.

Carol is passionate about helping you release your sabotage behavior so you can get unstuck, take back your power and live a life of your dreams!  Or so it said in the marketing.  What she did in 30 minutes is short of a miracle, as it left me feeling whole and peaceful again.  She uses the EFT tapping method. The Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT – also known as “Tapping Therapy” or “Meridian Tapping Techniques (MTT)”) was created by Gary Craig and works like emotional acupressure to quickly, gently and easily release the negative emotions and beliefs that are at the root of all our problems and pain.  While it is possible to clear some emotional traumas, beliefs and negative emotions permanently, it best serves us on a continual use basis.  If you’ve never heard about EFT check it out online and see if it might be something you’re interested in.

It worked for me.  Now I’m just an achiever!!

“Blessings on your journey”

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Bon Voyage!

Last week I spent 4 days with my study group.  My study group is made up of fellow funeral professionals from Canada, Massachusetts, Ohio, Texas and New York.  We meet to discuss critical issues, best practices and goals and to hold our feet to the fire, much like a board of directors.  This years meeting has been somewhat transformational for me.  I have been moved to be a better leader (mentor, dont demean), to be more honest with myself and others (hold space and expect others to hold space for me), to practice what I preach (honest and authentic) and shake rattle and role (stretch, take risks and grow).

I also re-visited a need to ensure that I am surrounding myself in an environment that fosters the type of growth I seek for myself.  Surrounding myself with others who aren’t willing to stretch and take risks, be honest and authentic and hold caring, and committed space for me, will not work.  There’s the old saying that when the rising tide raises the water level in the marina all the boats rise with it.  Conversely, if I’m boating with others that are draining the marina of water, I too am affected.

Today I set sail with a clear view and direction.  while I might encounter some bad weather and rough seas, I know my destination and am quite willing and determined to get there.  Bon Voyage!!

”Blessings on your journey”