The next act

Yesterday I received a comment from a dear friend suggesting there are some things that never can be forgiven. She said you can accept it and move on but forgiveness is not always possible.  If after asking the three universal questions that’s what you come up with, so be it, that would be your resolution

What would You have me do?

Where would You have me go?

What would You have me say, and to whom?”

I have found for me that forgiving others is essential for my spiritual growth. Wayne Dyer says this about forgiveness: “Your experience of someone who has hurt you, while painful, is now nothing more than a thought or feeling that you carry around. These thoughts of resentment, anger, and hatred represent slow, debilitating energies that will dis-empower you if you continue to let these thoughts occupy space in your head. If you could release them, you would know more peace.”

As many of you know my mother gave up custody and all contact with me at the age  of three years old.  I will not bore you with the details (you can read about that in my book) but there was a time when I thought I could never forgive my mother or any parent who could do that to their child.  I use this as an example of how my thinking allowed me to carry thoughts of resentment and anger around with me that would surface from time to time.  On occasion I have flashbacks of these thoughts and my experience but for the most part I am at total peace with her, and the events that created it.

My three questions,

What would you have me do?  Love her, love my father, my family and the circumstances, but most importantly love myself

Where would you have me go?  I was moved to connect with her and her family at the age of 28 and more importantly, moved to be the best husband and father I could be!!

What would you have me say and to whom?  Tell both my parents and those who raised me that I love them. Tell my children I love them regularly.

Wayne Dyer among other many wonderful teachers I worked with in my life time were a great gift to me.  All of life’s experiences moved me forward on my spiritual path.  They provided me a vision and direction to move in.  Here is what Wayne Dyer says about our history.  “Your past history and all of your hurts are no longer here in your physical reality. Don’t allow them to be here in your mind, muddying your present moments. Your life is like a play with several acts. Some of the characters who enter have short roles to play, others, much larger. Some are villains and others are good guys. But all of them are necessary, otherwise they wouldn’t be in the play. Embrace them all, and move on to the next act.”

”Blessings on your journey”



For the last few days I have been writing about throwing out HATE and FEAR.  Another way to look at throwing out hate is letting go of grievances.  Holding grievances is one of the roadblocks to our plan for freedom and transformational change.  If we are willing to let go of grievances, we can expect to change the very fabric of our human existence, and I believe we can and will do this in my lifetime. I also have come to believe this transformational change happens in its own time.  There are no guarantees we will wake up tomorrow transformed and no reasons why that isn’t possible.

One of the main players in our transformational journey is, “Forgiveness.”  Forgiveness is an idea often misunderstood but needed to be better able to work on our own healing.  One of the more memorable forgiveness events I can remember is the Amish school shooting in Pennsylvania in October 2006.

From NPR Investigations:

It was in the tiny community of Nickles Mines that a man stormed into a one-room schoolhouse and shot 10 young girls, killing five. He then killed himself.  Since the tragedy, people around the world have been inspired by the way the Amish expressed forgiveness toward the killer and his family.

Forgiving the Killer

Charles Roberts wasn’t Amish, but Amish families knew him as the milk truck driver who made deliveries. Last month, it was announced that the Amish community had donated money to the killer’s widow and her three young children. It was one more gesture of forgiveness, gestures that began soon after the shooting.

(Donald Kraybill, is a sociologist at nearby Elizabethtown College and co-author of Amish Grace: How Forgiveness Transcended Tragedy.)

“I think the most powerful demonstration of the depth of Amish forgiveness was when members of the Amish community went to the killer’s burial service at the cemetery,” Kraybill says. “Several families, Amish families who had buried their own daughters just the day before were in attendance and they hugged the widow, and hugged other members of the killer’s family.”

(Jonas Beiler, is the founder of the Family Resource and Counseling Center.)

Tragedy changes you. You can’t stay the same,” Beiler says. “Where that lands,you don’t always know. But what I found out in my own experience if you bring what little pieces you have left to God, he somehow helps you make good out of it. And I see that happening in this school shooting as well. One just simple thing that the whole world got to see was this simple message of forgiveness.”

Beiler says that because the Amish can express that forgiveness, and because they hold no grudges, they are better able to concentrate on the work of their own healing.


I leave you with todays lesson from the “Course in Miracles,” which speaks to the leap of faith these loving people made. Today’s lesson presents us with one of the greatest ‘prayers’, one of the greatest guidelines for action within the illusory universe that we can ever apply to any situation we appear to encounter at any place or any time. These words will give us the appropriate and specific response to absolutely any situation in which we feel the need to choose the guidance of our higher self.

“What would You have me do?

Where would You have me go?

What would You have me say, and to whom?”



”Blessings on your journey”

Our biggest fear

Don Miguel Ruiz wrote, “Death is not the biggest fear we have; our biggest fear is taking the risk to be alive — the risk to be alive and express what we really are.”

Being fearful of the future takes an enormous amount of energy and drains the creativity and motivation from life. So, just for today, do your best to be less fearful. And, as you set your sights on the coming year, plan to do one small thing every day to express your own uniqueness.

“Blessings on your journey”


Spring cleaning seems to be the hot topic today.  Yesterday I suggested cleaning house and today the morning shows are instructing me on organizational thoughts and ideas for decluttering.  Pam Sherman in her weekly newspaper column opens with her article on the new rage in the world of decluttering, the user manual being the book, the Gentle Art of Swedish Death Cleaning. And, the Buffalo Bills traded Tyrod Taylor (more decluttering) making room for a new opportunity.       Apparently everyone is following my blog, lol.

In my most sincere desire to declutter our world, I would like to suggest we take this weekend and consider a couple specific things to throw out from our own houses.  Typically when we spring clean we throw out things we realize we dont need anymore. There might have been a time when it appeared useful but is useful no longer. If my list doesn’t resonate with you today, feel free to make up your own.

The first one to throw out  is HATE.  As we look around our house and find any crevice or corner in the attic or basement that harbors any old idea or useless behavior involving HATE, throw it out!!!  Hoarding hate for any reason is like filling all the cracks and openings that light can flow through.  It’s like keeping the blinds drawn so no one can see in, which by the way inhibits us from seeing out! It’s one of the most destructive and hurtful items we can have in our house.  Throw it out!

The next is FEAR.  Once we clear out the HATE, there should be nothing left to fear, right?  The problem with fear is it can be invisible and very hard to find.  It hides behind the curtains and under the bed.  It hides in the very fabric of the structure and is constantly telling us things will be OK, just stay the course, dont change anything and we’ll be safe.  It loves to keep us in check, dont change, we’re OK just the way we are. Then when all hell breaks loose it says, see, I told you so! OK, so we need to do a little more work with fear.

Maybe this weekend we can try to tackle just one fear.  Maybe its the one about calling that relative or friend that you haven’t talked to in months and your afraid they hate you.  Maybe its the one where you’re afraid to get started on your taxes because your afraid you’ll owe more.  Maybe you can find that perfect one for you, the one that’s been bothering you recently and throw it out.  It’s a start!! Let me know how you make out.

“Blessings on your journey”

House cleaning

I would like to suggest that we all are assets. You, me, the guy down the street, the gal at the check out counter and the struggling soul wandering aimlessly in the night.  While it may be hard at times to “see” everyone as an asset because they “look” like liabilities, I believe we were all born as assets. If you can follow me in this thinking, I’d like to suggest an asset is love. Have you ever met a new born baby that wasn’t love? We were created in love, the product of love and therefore we are love. When we sit in our deepest place, the place where breath is created, we meet it. It can be as near or far as we allow, choose or are programmed to believe, but, there is only one truth.

We need to hear the truth about ourself as frequently as possible, because our mind is so preoccupied with false images. We have been operating under the ego’s thought system for a very long time, and we’ve built up quite a backlog of false ideas and images. Time now to clean house!

“Blessings on your journey”

Asset or Liability?

Whe we consider our relationships with family, friends and associates, are we assets or liabilities? Often we have significant impact on others and others on us. Do we look at others to be assets or liabilities? How do people perceive us and our actions? Is it different then what we might consider it to be?

For most of us, we will naturally lean towards assets and away from liabilities. Assets are supportive, positive, and make us strong.  Liabilities take away from our strength and dilute our ability to become a positive force.  In business as in life we will always have assets and liabilities. While liabilities are natural affects of our movement and an intricate part in balance, if there are more liabilities than assets, we will struggle to survive.  If we struggle to survive we will witness hate, disrespect,  anger, anxiety, division, protest, all inherent in struggle.

Two days ago in my “did you miss me” post I spoke of the gift you all are to me.  I told you how it helped me feel connected knowing you were there.  I also said, we are better together. If we are going to be better together we will need to consider our actions, thoughts and deeds.  Assets make us positive and strong, liabilities take away our strength.  Let’s be assets!!

We can do this!

”Blessings on your journey”