Happiness vs. Joy

What’s the distinction between joy and happiness? Happiness shows up when you win the game, get an “A”, or win the lottery, and then it goes away. Joy is something more underlying. You ask, how do I have, or get happiness on a day to day basis? You don’t. The things we do day to day, we will not necessarily enjoy, but the bigger question is, do we have a sense that they’re apart of something bigger? That’s where the value of joy comes from. You don’t have to like everyday, but you do get to love everyday, You don’t have to like your children everyday, but you love your children everyday. We create this unrealistic expectation that everything in our day, or everything at work, or everything in our relationships, has to be amazing. It’s an unfair standard to put on a human being.

Sometimes, it’s us creating the unhappiness everyday. We make ourselves victims because of the narrative we create. Yet we have the power to change our narrative. You may have noticed that some people hate each other because of their narratives. If you hate all the people not like you, it can be the most wonderful opportunity in the world. You can continue to hate all these people, OR, you can choose to listen and try to understand what their motivations are and understand what they care about. I bet you’ll discover that their core values are the same as yours. Some of its narrative, some of its perspective.

Don’t seek happiness. The happiness will happen here and there. Seek Joy, and that comes from relationships and belonging and cause.

Joy, the final frontier!!

“Blessing on your journey”

Www.mkanthony.com

Hit the wrong button !!!!!!!!!*******

You know when you sit down and write this beautiful letter, post, business article, or blog, and you hit the wrong button and it all disappears??

When all your thoughts were perfectly aligned, and in fact the whole written piece was just brilliant? And then POOF!! It’s gone and you can’t get it back because in your frustration, and between the screaming obsentities to the world around you, you hit the wrong refresh button and the whole program shuts down and resets?

Well guess what, that just happened to me, and I don’t have the energy to try and recreate that beauty. In fact my demeanor right now is not beautiful at all, and I don’t feel like it!!

So, I instead, I’ll just have to reconnect with my internal beauty and navigate back to the perfection and love that I really am. I’ll have to find a way, just like yesterday and the day before, and the week before that, and the month before that, you get the idea. It is the way of our human existence and it seems that, that is what I was to write about today anyway. Love ya

“Blessings on your journey”

Www.mkanthony.com

What have we learned?

What have we learned? It will be interesting to see what happens, as we move toward removing the restrictions in areas around our country. For weeks now I have become totally comfortable wearing a mask, and maintaining distance in public. While I haven’t liked it, it has become my new normal. Going into the grocery store, I find the large majority of people wear their masks. In fact, I’m sure the ones without a mask probably feel out of place. Gloves are being used more frequently too, even while there are many opportunities to use hand sanitizer nearby. I find myself more frequently washing my hands, disinfecting surfaces, cars and phones and thinking about my family!

Soon we will be able to see what everybody else has learned. What will it look like when the restrictions lift? What will we do? How will we behave? Will we need to learn more? Probably!

“Blessings on your journey”

Www.mkanthony.com

Listening and Learning

It’s been a while since I’ve posted anything on my blog because, I’ve not been writing, I’ve been listening. Listening for information, listening for clarity, listening for truth. What have I heard?, what have I learned? I’ve heard frustration, anger, uncertainty, restrictions, suffering, fear and hope. I’ve learned that in uncertain times we tend to lean towards fear more than hope and, I’ve learned that if we work together we can combat most anything.

We are living in a time of great uncertainty, with a virus that has never existed before, and that we have little protection from. This experience naturally breeds fear, and fear is a natural part of our human condition (fight or flight). Fear can move and motivate us to action, it can also shut us down, and kill us. Having our world change so quickly and dramatically is scary. The days of sheltering in place, working from home, wearing masks and gloves has provided us with a difficult transition. We are being asked to test our thinking daily, by living in a different way, and we are being asked to embrace transformational change, finding newness, oneness, joy and some peace, even in the midst of struggle. This event is shining a bright, (sometimes unflattering) light on who and what we are, and want to be.

We can do this!

“Blessings on your journey”

Www.mkanthony.com

Flying high

Back in my youth I had a fascination with balsa wood airplanes. The simple little fighter planes where you inserted the tail and main wings into a thicker balsa wood body. If you tilted the wings in a certain direction they would fly in loops, circles or wide turns.

On occasion I was fortunate to get the large plane, the one with the long wind up rubber band and propeller. This was the Cadillac of balsa wood flyers in my day. The long rubber band and propeller would keep the plane in the air for much longer and could, if not handled and launched properly, find its way into the trees or on to the cottage roof. My life back then had many moments retrieving things from the trees and the roof, it got to the point where we would leave the ladder out.

Like everything in life how we launch our day, idea, conversation, plan, business etc etc will create an affect. It can be a smooth flight or a bumpy one, “It’s all in the release”

I can remember the fascination and joy of having and playing with these simple machines. I try to bring that same energy to all I do. Sometimes it’s a smooth flight and sometimes not. My job is to keep the plane out of trouble but retain the joy and fascination of the flight. Giddy-up

“Blessings on your journey”

Www.mkanthony.com

True Colors

A good friend reached out to me yesterday wondering why I hadn’t been writing much lately. She sent me this Cyndi Lauper song which I find comforting today.

You with the sad eyes
Don’t be discouraged
Oh I realize
Its hard to take courage
In a world full of people
You can lose sight of it all
And the darkness inside you
Can make you feel so small. But I see your true colors
Shining through
I see your true colors
And that’s why I love you
So don’t be afraid to let them show
Your true colors
True colors are beautiful
Like a rainbow

In the days, weeks and months ahead, don’t get discouraged or afraid of the darkness in this crisis. Take courage, Let me see your true colors, because that’s why I love you.

“Blessings on your journey”

Www.mkanthony.com

Lately, I’ve been getting mean

Lately, I’ve been getting mean. Making mean remarks on facebook posts, mean to my wife and generally irritable. Last night it was over chicken and the way it was cut for my salad (that kind of mean). I’m allowing my empathic and loving nature to be controlled by my environment. I woke up this morning realizing that while I find this whole virus crisis a challenge, the uncertainty of where it is going and how we will return to our new normal is getting me down. I have alway struggled with uncertainty. My need or desire for control has little understanding or patience for uncertainty. Yet, here we are. Day by day, moment by moment inundated by the possibilities.

My good friend Chris and I discussed this just the other day. He has been “enjoying” loves miracles in his daily life by being present in the moment, wherever he is, and whenever it is. You might say he is experiencing what living in the moment really looks and feels like. There are all these beautiful stories of things happening, moving in and out of his reality. He is full of awe and wonder, loving each and everyone who comes in contact with him. He is a willing and gracious participant, his only concern, love and staying present. He lives in Joy.

In my book “Living and Dying” I write about a two week time where I experienced pure Joy in my life. My story and his are identical. During this time I did only one thing, Love everyone and everything that took place in my life, moment by moment. Whether it was at work, in the grocery store, I lived in pure Joy.

The message in this brief post, is one of love and hope (even when I’m mean, I’m full of love and hope, its just not present). If we can take each moment and be willing to be loving, gracious and compassionate we too will live in a place of Joy. It is a journey not to be missed, it is our journey and why we are here.

“Blessings on your journey”

Www.mkanthony.com

Saying goodbye in these difficult times

Today has me thinking about the many families being affected in death by the current virus crisis. Last night I heard on the news from a nurse put in the position to sit with and being a part in the passing of a life, a life she had limited connection with. With the current distancing and quarantine rules, families are being shut out of these moments, and strangers are becoming involved in one of the most transformational events in our lifetime, the passing of a human life.

Having served in funeral service and on the front lines of this event for over 45 years, I have come to realize a few things. It should not be surprising to know that the two most significant thoughts families have when a loved one dies, Are, I don’t want them to have any pain, and, I don’t want them to die alone. While there are certainly other thoughts and situations, these are the two I hear the most about.

Perhaps the most heart wrenching story I have regarding pain, is about the mom who’s son was killed in a fiery car crash. She was obviously consumed by her imagination and fears, as any parent would have. She also was able and willing to share her thoughts with me asking me for my thoughts, searching for consolation, any glimpse of truth and guidance to help her through this nightmare. In all my years I had never felt so needed,   and I was prepared. It has become my conviction and belief that at the time of our physical death we transition to another realm, position, place, vibration (you pick or use your own word here). I have listened to thousands of stories from loved ones of energetic connections, songs being played, lights flickering, cardinals, and many unique events and times. I have read numerous books from authors who have died and come back to tell their story, and, I have had personal experiences in my life where I have transitioned energetically to another space and time (more about that in my book).
I looked into the eyes of this beautiful loving mother and said, “i cannot speak to how awful and painful it was for you son in that moment, but the moment he made the transition from this place to the next, whatever he felt or experienced no longer mattered. He entered a place so beautiful and full of love that ‘anything’ any pain, suffering etc. that could have happened was so insignificant we just can’t imagine. She said “Do you believe that?” and I said “without a doubt”.

I started with this story because knowing about or watching people in pain or suffering in any way, is one of the most difficult events we’ll have to endure in life. How we choose and manage to navigate these events can dramatically change the direction we all travel.
The concern of loved ones dying alone when you consider the transformational event and its impact of the previous story, should help us mitigate the effect of being alone. It is my belief that no matter how hard we try, or are successful in being with our loved one when they die, we have no power or control in it. I have heard story after story about the families that sat the week long vigils at the death bed of a loved one, only to miss their passing after stepping out of the room for a moment.

This brings me to the times we are in now. The loved ones dying in the hospitals surrounded by medical staff and limited, or in some cases no family connection. It is my belief that when we are in the final stages of life we have the ability to travel from this earthly place to the next and back. We have that ability because, as we start to release the heavy earthly and physical vibration, we become more aware of the higher spiritual vibration we are really connected to. You may have heard the many stories of loved ones communicating and having conversations with dead family and loved ones. I believe this is really happening.  In this time, we have the opportunity to transcend time and space. We can connect with others “out of body” and we can be everywhere and hear everything.

My advice for those of you struggling in these troubled times, is to make a moment in your days to sit quietly in a calming and loving environment and space. Give yourself up to the possibility that we are never alone, that we are continually and always connected to each other no matter where we are. Speak to them, remember them, celebrate them. For it is in this journey of acceptance, this realization that the relationships we have with each other are within us, and eternal, and that they remain. You are here, we are here, all is well.

“Blessings on your journey”

If you would like to read more about the many stories I have, I would be honored to share my book “Living and Dying” Finding Love and Hope in the Journey of Loss, available through my website at http://www.mkanthony.com or through amazon and barnes and nobles.

 

God bless us!

I’m sitting hear feeling very disconnected, upset and disheartened right now. Not because of my concerns about the worldwide pandemic or my fear of dying or anything like that. I’m feeling this way because people I love and care about have anxiety, despair and hate in their hearts and they can’t seem to find a way out of it. I don’t blame them, because the world that surrounds us is setting these fires in every direction. Those fires, ignighting fear not love.

I try my best to dig trenches around them and do prescribed burns to mitigate the damage yet, to little or no avail, or so it seems. I use humor, philosophy, authenticity, music, and just plain old love. It might look like my best efforts fail, or so it seems. Maybe it’s hopeless, maybe it needs to get worse before it gets better.

I find myself praying every day for some sign, some relief from this pain. I’m disheartened, yet hopeful, always hopeful.

For tomorrow will bring new growth from the dust, tomorrow will be a day unlike any other, tomorrow might be that one day that changes our world forever. I’m hopeful, always hopeful because I know this, Thoughts themselves are an energy, and it’s vital that we need to work on not holding on to the ones that will weaken us.

“Blessings on your journey”

Www.mkanthony.com