When we spend all of our time complaining, we are in essence in constant destroy mode rather than building mode.

We all know someone who has elevated the process of complaining to a high art. Sometimes funny, sometimes exhausting, these people have the ability to find a problem just about anywhere. In its more evolved form, complaining is simply the ability to see what’s not working, in one’s own life or in the external world, and it can be quite useful if followed to its natural conclusion–finding a solution and applying it. However, many of us don’t get that far, and we find that complaining has become an end in itself. In small doses, this is not a big problem, but if complaining has become a huge part of our identities, it may be time to take a good look at how we are spending our energy.

Complaining is a person’s way of acknowledging that they are not happy with the way things are. In a metaphorical way, when we complain or criticize, we are tearing down an undesirable structure in order to make room for something new. But if all we do is tear down, never bothering to summon the creative energy required to create something new, we are not fulfilling the process. In fact, we are at risk for becoming a stagnant and destructive force in our own lives and in the lives of the people we love. Another issue with complaining is that we sometimes tend to focus on other people, whom we can’t change, as a way of deflecting attention from the one person we can change–ourselves. So transforming complaining into something useful is a twofold process that begins with turning our critical eye to look at things we can actually do something about, and then taking positive action.

When we find ourselves complaining, the last thing we need to do is get down on ourselves. Instead, we can begin by noticing that we are in the mode of wanting to make some changes. But rather than lashing out at somebody or an organization, we can look for an appropriate place to channel this energy–not our neighbor’s house, but possibly parts of our own. Finally, we can ask ourselves the positive question of what we would like to create in the place of whatever it is we want to tear down. When we do this, we channel a negative habit into a creative process, thus using our energy to change the world around us in a positive way.

From my friend Madisyn Taylor

”Blessings on your journey”


I wrote this a year ago and wanted to share again.

The other day I wrote about being nice and how that could change the world. I think if you’ve tried it, or have been doing it all your life you realize that being “truly” nice can only be accomplished with compassion. True compassion recognizes that all the boundaries we perceive between ourselves and others are an illusion.

When I’m being compassionate, I feel and experience the ability to see the deep connectedness between myself and others. I recognize that all the obstacles and boundaries I perceive between myself and others are an illusion. When I first began to practice compassion, this very deep level of understanding may have eluded me, but with practice I was eventually able to feel my way toward it.  And, as with any skill, our compassion grows most in the presence of difficulty.

“Blessings on your journey”

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Listen generously

When you listen generously to people they can hear the truth in themselves, often for the first time.


Many of my posts have been written about holding space for each other, recognizing the need to be heard and valued.  This quote unveils the truth and power of what “listening generously” can bring about.  When we are in an argumentative or defensive stance we can not hear, we can only protect and project.  It suggests if we allow people to speak what they believe to be their truth they can drop their fight and hear the truth in themselves, perhaps even for the first time.  Let’s try that!!

”Blessings on your journey”

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Who and how do we serve?

Lately I’ve been working with a group of managers as they develop a team culture for their business.  They have been working with a highly qualified consulting company that specializes in their line of service work.  They have created programs and guidance to provide leadership with the tools, schedules and goals in which to execute.

Our management team has done a good job with its execution and we have arrived at a point where the new team culture is becoming a reality. To insure its success the management team has become more focused on implementing proper training and support, and have done it well.

At the end of a recent consultants meeting I brought up the concept of the “customer experience”.  I asked what was being done to insure the experience to the customer was improved and offered an idea of how I could see it improving.  While they have done a great job creating this new culture it really struck me how protective they became in protecting it, as they shot down my recommendation.

Often times in life we do things for the right reasons but forget why we’re really  there in the first place.  In the service business (and every business) we exist because of the customer, and if that customer is not served they will leave.  Let’s not forget!!

”Blessings on your journey”

Remember me

Today I get the privelage of speaking at the funeral of a friend.  This is what I will say.

We have come here today to witness and take part in the mystery of life’s journey.  Much like all of our journeys in life, our presence symbolizes our commitment and love for each other, and our love and appreciation for the life of     ____________________________________________________________________ .

In this life’s journey we experience transformational events that change and form the fabric and direction of our lives.  Today we come to one of those moments, a moment that represents a significant change, a soon to be new normal in our life and the life of __________________________________________________________.   While we cannot imagine where this road will take us right now, we can take strength in the fact we won’t be traveling it alone, for it is the same path that has been taken by all who have gone before us, and a path that we to will follow.  It is a natural and normal part of the human condition.

Be assured that comfort can be found in our hearts and memories.  It is the story of  our life that brings light and meaning to our existence and what we represent to each other.  So, before we leave here today to complete this physical journey on earth, take pause to remember.  Remember and carry with us all that serves and honors us and let go of that which no longer serves us.


Called on to lead!

I’m quite taken by the reactions and behaviors of all those in the political and media world today. Looking from afar and painting with a big brush, it would appear there is a war being waged.  I say that because of the expressions I see being represented, like hatred, fear, distaste, distrust, disgust, (add your feeling here).  There are also some that are inspired, and supportive, etc. (add your feeling here).

What concerns me the most is the light it shines on who we are as a people, because it speaks volumes about our character.  What has happened to today’s leaders? I have always appreciated the leader who inspires and moves me, Jesus, Buda, Mother Theresa, Nelson Mandela, Gandhi, Martin Luther King, Abraham Lincoln, (add your name here).  It was easy to try and follow their  doctrines, beliefs, and message if we just believed.  For thousands of years we were trained trained and taught to be followers, following the beliefs and doctrines of others, it has been our path, our history. Now we are being called to move beyond the old ways that no longer serve us and into a brave new world.

We are being called to find a place of peace in an age of personal and spiritual development. Unfortunately, we’re beginning this development like children in our late teens or maybe younger (remember what that was like?). You can see it in our actions and behaviors, so be kind, it to will pass (it may also be the end of us too).  I also believe, more importantly, that “we” are being called, that each and everyone of us is being called to step up and lead, (take a big breath). And, lead by finding a place within us where we have never gone before. The good news is, all we need to do, is be willing.  So, I would like to suggest you join me in finding that leader that breathes, inspires and moves within each of us.  That leader who up until now has been hiding, and secretly waiting for this very moment.  That leader that holds space for and supports each other, that leader that loves, and leads without judgement, allowing for compromise and growth. That leader that listens. That leader in YOU and ME.

”Blessings on your journey”

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