Spinning?

Day 14

Two weeks ago I started on this 100 day journey to share my inner most thoughts in a public forum.  I did this to share an authentic and honest viewpoint about what was spinning about in my world.  There is just so much spinning, some days I don’t know where to begin.  Initially I thought a lot of people would read the blog and join in the conversation.  I’m beginning to realize how impractical that is, as we all are consumed by our own living.  I see how that has become habit for us, as I too, am consumed by my own living.  I am not always present in the moment and being the greatest gift I can be to all.  I find it takes a lot of work and is often easier to be a gift to strangers or friends over family, do you?

After 14 days it appears I need to a better job with those closest to me in my life.  Let’s see where the next 86 days take me.  Thanks for tagging along, and please invite your friends and family to join the conversation.  that could be fun!!

”Blessings on your journey”

http://www.mkanthony.com

Reflection

Today I sit here in Florida, over looking the pool and the Ft Pierce Inlet.  It’s around 78 degrees, with 70% humidity and winds at 7mph.  From this view all indications point towards a delightful day of sun and warm weather, with the hope of some fresh caught fish for lunch.  Just behind me in the living space of the condo is the television spewing out story after story of a world gone wrong.  On my phone is a contractor not willing to take responsibility for his work.  People are dying, eight new families at our funeral chapel in the last 48 hours, challenged by personal loss. And, the list goes on.

I will go out into this day knowing that I can choose to bring the reflection of pain and hurt or love and acceptance.  I will make the effort to see the reflection of good in the people and world.  It will not change what I heard on tv for that is the past, but, it will change the future or what I see now.  It will require my effort and it will bring forth a miracle, I can already feel it.  This simple exercise of sitting quietly and writing has changed everything.  I invite you to do the same.

“Blessings on your journey”

http://www.mkanthony.com

 

Big stuff!

I’m traveling today and decided to pull out a post I wrote a few days before I went live with my blog.  I thought we could all use a little pick me up from the last three days.

I woke up at 3am last night thinking of the song “Mr. Big Shot, Who do you think you are”, by Jean Knight. Although I thought it was Mr big shot, it is actually Mr. Big Stuff!! Anyway, Mr Big Stuff still works because being a spiritual being capable and deserving of all things is pretty big stuff.

As I reflect on my life’s journey, I was always ready to step up and to do the big thing, win the big game or make the big move (take the chance). While everyone doesn’t share my vision, belief and enthusiasm for doing the big stuff, it makes me wonder.
Isn’t it possible, to be capable of all things and have all of life’s trophy’s, while maintaining peace, joy and love? Isn’t that possible? I think it is. Is fear of failure, ridicule and change, holding us back from success? Are we just to damn lazy, or do we feel unworthy and undeserving (the list goes on).

For the past few months, I have been waiting for the magic to just appear, after all I am a spiritual being and deserving of all things. I’ve been waiting for the event or the thought that would propel me once again into the magic energy field, the universal arena.

I finally accepted that I haven’t been ready and probably a little scared to step out into that arena. All the things I thought I believed, preach and practice had been on hold as if in a state of suspended animation. Not really sure why, but “enter blogging”.  I know I don’t know everything, but when I close my eyes, trust and listen all things are possible.

Here I am Lord. Welcome to my blog!

“Blessings on your Journey”

Www.mkanthony.com

 

 

Moods

The past two days have been a real challenge.  What’s up with that?

I woke up today wondering how from one moment to the next you can have such a shift in mood.  Often there are triggers that we build into our psyche that propel us to a place and time of our past in and instant.  I think that happened to me the other day.  When I reflect back on my past, I meet up with some darkness and significant sadness.  I wanted nothing more for my parents and family to have peace, love and joy in their lives but couldn’t manage that.  For years there was one thing after another seemingly knocking them down from all sides of their lives, and I could feel their pain. I guess the most important statement here is “their pain”, not mine, yet, I’m still connected to it, it’s embedded in my very being.   I’m not going to go into the stories here, but there in my book.

We go on with our experience of feelings and thoughts, digging under and mulling over their significance.  We live every moment a collection of past thoughts, experiences and reflective moments.  The depth of our feelings and senses clouded at times by reaction.   So today, I once again have to remind myself of what I want my walk and talk to be about.  Being love, patience, and offering support and understanding to all.  Thanks for being there.

”Blessings on your journey”

http://www.mkanthony.com

 

Walking your talk

Day 10

The holidays can be a stressful time for people.  For many years I would go in and out of depression around thanksgiving and christmas, following the familiar patterns of my family.  I tried excessive drinking and abusive behavior to feel better (familiar patterns), but to no avail.  After many years, I made a conscious effort to change that pattern.  I learned a new way to embrace the holidays by “being” the gift of peace, joy and love.  Yesterday I tried playing the old way again, and lost.

Today, is a new day.

Throughout our lives, we have nothing but opportunities for transcendence and transformation! To change the form of the thing and by changing it, we learn from it and discover some higher order of capacity.  Then it happens, of course, that in your meditation you discover that you haven’t really walked your talk, as completely as you ought to have. Aren’t there some things that you could do better in your relationships with other people? And the answer is, yes absolutely, and I continue to work on that, even today.

Our lives are formed not just by the conflicts that we’ve experienced, but by the ones we’ve not resolved – Ken Cloke

 

“Blessings on your journey”

I got nothin!

Shut down by hate.

 

For the past few hours I’ve been shut down by hate.  I hate the sentiment, the very idea of hate.  I hate that people hate and all the while I hated that.  I hate, that I hate that!!!  This is where “I got nothin” comes from, stuck with an idea, one that I hate!!

I was going to leave writing day 9’s post after shut down by hate, but after a while I re-connected with, and “I love that”.  Now here I am, pushing keys on my keyboard up and down.  I guess that’s better then shut down.

How do you deal with hate?

If we are not happy and joyous at this season,
for what other season shall we wait and
for what other time shall we look?” – Abdul-Aha

It’s important when we’re facing thoughts or things that are really hard for us that we lovingly support ourselves through the process. The more supported we feel, the easier it is to open our minds to the idea that we could change our way of thinking about or looking at the situation. When we remember this, we feel gratitude, which makes it hard to stay in a dark mood.

So for now, thank you for listening. It’s really helped.

”Blessings on your journey”

 

We shall see the sky sparkling with diamonds!

I welcome you to come along with me on my journey. It is my sincerest desire to bring more love into the world, and that might be a good thing.

Day 8

“We shall find peace. We shall hear angels.
We shall see the sky sparkling with diamonds.” – Anton Chekhov

What would make me think I have anything to say or offer the world?

Perhaps its the one question we continue to ask ourselves that keeps us from doing just that thing.  Speaking up, telling our story, sharing our intimate thoughts, ideas, secrets is a scary place and one that leaves us feeling vulnerable and open to ridicule.

A good friend said to me recently that it would be a shame to die with your story untold, closed off to those who might care, learn or benefit in some way from that knowledge.

Do you ever wonder why your parents did this thing or that and their gone now, not able to answer that question?  I wonder what the hell mine were thinking!  How hard and painful their divorce was?  I wonder how having a judge grant custody to my father over my mother must have felt to her and why it came out that way. I never asked and they never said, I’m sure it was to painful for them and now I’m left to wonder.

Growing up in funeral service and helping people through transformational events in their lives has given me the confidence and awareness to share my story.  I mean why not? its very evident to me we all feel the same basic emotions of fear, pain, loss, joy, peace, etc.  Although our individual stories may be different the feelings are universal.  “We shall find peace. We shall hear angels.” My first book “Living and Dying” is just being released, and is available online through my website, http://www.mkanthony.com  While I’ve already got my sites on the next book, it is a joy to be blogging as way to practice writing and sharing my thoughts, ideas and secrets.

Every day I wake up excited to venture out into the world with my thoughts.  As I sit here at the keyboard nothing specific is of mind, but after a moment or two “this” stuff comes tumbling out. It is my sincerest desire to bring more love into the world, and that is a good thing. I invite you again, to speak up, comment, live not die.

So, we all can see the sky sparkling with diamonds!

“Blessings on your journey”