The dungeon of my mind

 

FYI, It took me a little over an hour yesterday to go from feeling poorly to feeling amazing.  It happened while writing yesterdays post, when I realized what was dragging me down.  The thought being, I’m never quite good enough.  If I really dig deep, I often find that thought at the foundation of my thinking, fostered by feelings of abandonment, disappointment, and guilt amongst others.  It felt good to unearth that thought, as I didn’t realize it still lingered in the dungeon of my mind.  In fact, moments after realizing that thought, I found myself feeling better, even bordering amazing.  Although over an hour seems like a long time to write two paragraphs, it was worth it.  During that experience of observing, I became aware of what I needed to write and it changed how I am in the world.

We are constantly working on the balancing act of life, the battle (as the pictures suggests) between what we know and what we feel.  The cool thing is, it’s only a battle when we are in conflict.  Yesterday, I sat down and began to observe what I was feeling.  I observed that I was wearing my old moniker of not being good enough.  As an observer, having no conflict, I was willing to change my feeling poorly to feeling amazing, even happy.   Thanks for joining me.

“Blessings on your journey”

http://www.mkanthony.com

Analyze that!

Day 42

If I was to pick one thing I do that has the most detrimental affect on me personally, it would be this from yesterdays post. “It would appear that I spend an inordinate amount of time analyzing my unhappiness in order to find the causes and make improvements.  Personally, I have continually worked to understand and overcome difficult events and experiences to learn and grow from.  To be a better person, husband, father, friend, employer and teacher. To find the causes and make improvements.  In the big picture I’ve done a really great job, but at times I don’t feel like it.  My thinking is, if I was doing such a fine job I wouldn’t have made mistakes or errors in judgment in the first place.  Never quite good enough, an old moniker I wear around my neck today.

The article by Madisyn yesterday, spoke of the power we have to rise above and observe our feelings and emotions. We can recognize when we are feeling pain, guilt, loneliness, fear, peace, love, joy and content.  Recognition is the first step in adopting change.  If we are experiencing personal fears, disappointments, etc. we have the ability to become the observer and rise above them to a different lookout or viewpoint. While being the observer and not the victim we can retrace our steps to discover what may have put us in this frame of mind, and then we can take note of the choices we’ve made while there. In my personal experience I have found this process very rewarding, recognizing why it feels a particular way (not that I’ve always done something about it!).  I’m a slow learner at times, or maybe I’m just lazy.  Sometimes when we’re sad and depressed its hard to recognize.  Whatever the excuse is, I know there is a better way and that we are all on that same journey together. I can feel the energy of all of you and the way it moves in, out and through the very essence of our being.  I can feel the vibration and warmth.

Today, maybe I am good enough, in fact maybe I’m amazing and you are too.  Analyze that!!

“Blessings on your journey”

http://www.mkanthony.com

 

 

 

 

Recognizing happiness

Day 41

Because I’m having a hard time with recognizing happiness today, I thought I would share Madisyn Taylors thoughts on happiness.
“When we take the time to recognize when we are happy and what that feels like, it becomes easier to recreate.
Those of us on the path of personal and spiritual growth have a tendency to analyze our unhappiness in order to find the causes and make improvements. But it is just as important, if not more so, to analyze our happiness. Since we have the ability to rise above and observe our emotions, we can recognize when we are feeling joyful and content. Then we can harness the power of the moment by savoring our feelings and taking time to be grateful for them.

Recognition is the first step in creating change, therefore recognizing what it feels like to be happy is the first step toward sustaining happiness in our lives. We can examine how joy feels in our bodies and what thoughts run through our minds in times of bliss. Without diminishing its power, we can retrace our steps to discover what may have put us in this frame of mind, and then we can take note of the choices we’ve made while there. We might realize that we are generally more giving and forgiving when there’s a smile on our face, or that we are more likely to laugh off small annoyances and the actions of others when they don’t resonate with our light mood.

Once we know what it feels like and can identify some of the triggers and are aware of our actions, we can recreate that happiness when we are feeling low. Knowing that like attracts like, we can pull ourselves out of a blue mood by focusing on joy. We might find that forcing ourselves to be giving and forgiving, even when it doesn’t seem to come naturally, helps us to reconnect with the joy that usually precedes it. If we can identify a song, a picture, or a pet as a happiness trigger, we can use them as tools to recapture joy if we are having trouble finding it. By focusing our energy on analyzing happiness and all that it encompasses, we feed, nurture, and attract more of it into our lives, eventually making a habit of happiness”  BY MADISON TAYLOR from Daily OM.

It would appear that I spend an inordinant amount of time analyzing my unhappiness in order to find the causes and make improvements (caught on the hamster wheel).  It would probably be wise of me to take Madisyns advice.  Having a head cold doesn’t help any but I’ll keep trying. Wish me luck.

“Blessing on your journey”

http://www.mkanthony.com

 

Be the ball!

Day 40 of 100 daily posts.  I got this thought today. I hope you like it.

“Don’t be afraid to go where you’ve never gone and do what you’ve never done, because both are necessary to have what you’ve never had and be who you’ve never been”

Be the ball!

Much like the ball, life doesn’t always go where we intend it to.  Kick it, hit it, throw it, do something to it.  Do not be afraid of the opportunity.  Witness the surroundings and feel the exhilaration and the energy generated in its movement.  Watch how it bounces of the different surfaces, the speed it generates and its affect on the environment.  If we follow its movement, it can take us to new and exciting places.

“Blessings on your journey”

http://www.mkanthony.com

How busy was your holiday?

There is more to life than increasing its speed. – Mahatma Gandhi

“The problem is that our love of speed, our obsession with doing more and more in less and less time, has gone too far,” author Carl Honoré writes, “it has turned into an addiction, a kind of idolatry.” So how can we allow ourselves to be more comfortable with leaving certain tasks undone, declining certain invitations, and inevitably, disappointing those we care about or to whom we’re accountable?

Technology will continue to advance and our responsibilities continue to increase. We cannot slow down our days’ progression, but we can bring more balance to our days, and redefine what it means to be productive, to take care of ourselves, and to make room for what we most enjoy.  What would your  behavioral choices look like if you were living the highest version of yourself?

“Blessings on your journey”

http://www.mkanthony.com

E(energy )=motion

Day 36 and 37

From my book “Living and Dying

The process of holding onto a belief and the hope of new life, both in our outer and inner world, is one that transforms us daily. Although we may not always be aware of it, our minds are processing this information daily as we navigate the battlefield of hope and despair, love and hate, resentment and forgiveness. It is a world of opposites that we battle with, and it is a world that many call reality. While we can choose not to have that be our reality, we are bombarded by the experiences and events that shape our “reality” through our attention to it.

“Living from Your Soul,” a course that Neil Donald Walsh moderates, has taught me how the process of creating our reality really works. More importantly, it has shown me how we choose to lose our connection with our source of being. In the course, I have come to learn about and experience how the mechanics of the mind and the system of the soul work. I would encourage any of you, if interested, to consider finding him online or to look for his books: Conversations with God, The Only Thing That Matters, and What God Said, in addition to many others.

When we consider the idea of “taking our temperature,” what we are doing is checking in with our internal nature, our divine spark, or how we feel at any given moment. If you are not doing it daily, I highly recommend you consider it. If we cannot experience the feeling, we become numb to what is happening around us on a daily basis. If we cannot feel, we cannot provide the necessary medicine to help in the healing. If we cannot feel, we cannot celebrate the moments of joy and love that permeate our lives daily. If we cannot feel, we are paralyzed. When being paralyzed affects our life (as it does to all of us at times), it means there is no movement. If there is no movement, there is no expression of energy and there is no emotion.

E(energy)=motion

I would like to suggest that emotion is the key to our ability to live a healthy life. Without it, we are paralyzed. I have had many, many years of trying to maintain a state of being without emotion (just ask my wife), thinking this would lead to spiritual growth. For twenty years I tried to exercise my mental powers to achieve a higher state of awareness. Although I achieved awareness and knowledge of many spiritual truths, the experience of those truths were not felt or experienced, they were just ideas in my mind. At the time, it made perfect sense to me. I thought that because I was not experiencing feelings (things associated with the physical body), I must be living a spiritual existence.
What I’ve come to learn is that by not expressing the truths I had come to know, I had in fact created a self paralysis with no movement. I was just somebody who thought he was really spiritual and smart :-). If we try to ignore or limit our connection with the body and emotion, we limit our experience. If we deny this connection of spirit and body, we limit our experience. I now believe we were put here to experience it all.

What I have learned is that with emotion, life is more fun and interesting, and I am more passionate, caring and loving. It is the emotion, created by my thought, which causes a reaction. That reaction is the energy that creates activity and motion, and without it, there is no movement. If there were no emotion I would not be able to write this book, get up in the morning, or do anything. Emotion is the power that drives us and therefore, emotion plays an important part in the lives we live.

The energy associated with emotion is very strong and one that can be very difficult to embrace. It will cause us to move out of our comfort zone, and it will challenge us to what feels like a breaking point. It will feel large, in charge, and scary at times, but it has its purpose. It is there to move us toward something new. It is there to make us choose. It is there for our own good, to shock us out of our old patterns. It is there to be embraced and it will move us towards love. The dilemma in all of this is that we have a choice.

In the many years I devoted to limiting emotion in my life, I was in a constant war with myself. In my new experience of embracing and choosing emotion (e=motion) I have blossomed to do many new things and have grown in many ways. It has been challenging, and I do fall off course. But if I were to have to do it over again, I would choose the course of energy and motion.

I have always loved the quote “When in life have you learned the most, when everything was easy or when you were most challenged?” In my experience, all of my major growth has taken place in change and movement from one place to another. Perhaps that is why I chose funeral service. Is there any other experience that challenges us to move from one place to another that is more profound? I think not.

“Blessings on your journey”

www/mkanthony.com