Where to next?

Day 88

Yesterday was a great day.  A great day because as I get closer to my commitment of blogging for 100 days I’m becoming more willing to add texture and content about our outer world to the message.  I beleive that a conversation takes place within all of us about life and its issues all the time, and how best to navigate the journey.  There is this crazy spinning around social media, politics, economy, weather, you name it, there is spinning. While I don’t know exactly what I’m going to do after the 100 days I’m excited to have successfully navigated 88 days of dialogue and authentic expression. No one HATES me (ok maybe a few, lol) and I’m OK.  The world has not ended and I feel safe and confident that we will somehow endure.  We can have faith, we can love ourselves and each other and by taking one step at a time make life much easier to navigate.  That is my quest.  After all, the years of our lives do not arrive all at on once, they greet us day by day.  The way we show up for our lives today and tomorrow has an enormous affect on who we will be and what we will be experiencing years from now. If we can remain fully engaged in the day at hand, enjoying all it has to offer and putting our energy into making the most of it, we will find that we are perfectly ready and capable to handle any future when it arrives.

Thank you for coming along on this ride and let me know where you might like to go next.  I realize that it is hard work for everyone, but I am fully committed and willing to engage and learn.  The journey continues and I welcome your thoughts and input.


“Blessings on your journey”



What are we to do?

Day 87

I couldn’t get up fast enough this morning to start writing because the story line has been percolating inside me for some time.  It also conveniently ties into the message from the Course of Miracles today which was, The job of Spirit is to literally heal our faulty perceptions in such a way as to allow true forgiveness to take place. I have been writing about healing for the past few days now and it keeps coming up, so maybe we need to keep hearing it in different ways for it to sink in or make sense.  Although the story line is one of intense and emotional content it is a timely one and will require much more dialogue then you’ll find here.

Today the story line is about the issue of abuse, its cause and effect.  Recently some men have been removed from their jobs for being abusive.  Not sexually as in so many other cases but physically and emotionally abusive to their wives.  These men were employees of the White House and subsequently linked to Donald Trump.  I would like to go on record that I believe abusive behavior is not acceptable in any situation.  I also want to acknowledge that there have been times in my life when I have been abusive.  I have said things, been mean etc. to my kids, wife, employees, parents, friends etc.  While that has not resulted in any physical hurt or injury, it usually leaves scars.  Those scars are still present with me today and keep me aware of what I am capable of, and conversely what I do not want to be or represent in the world.  I also believe our behavior leaves scars on those we love and care for.  While I have done my share of scarring others, I also have been scarred by parents (my mother left me as a baby, my father beat me with his umbrella), friends family etc.  It is part of the human condition and I find it connected to frustration, anger and poor self esteem to name a few .

Every day as we go out in the world we have to choose how we want to live in the world. The message in today’s Course of Miracles reminds me again.  Healing our faulty perceptions and allowing for true forgiveness is a full time job for me.

This past year, I have been in the presence of individuals that have HATE in their hearts for Donald Trump.  I mean real HATE, the kind of hate that turns ones stomach…. as I sit and listen to them I can actually see and feel the hate.  I can even feel it in posts on facebook and it scares me becasue I have never had HATE like that in me for anyone or reason.  I also recently saw a YouTube video of a mother spanking (beating) her child in a shopping mall.  I was going to attach the video but it’s to disturbing.  While I can’t relate to the HATE, as a parent I have had moments when my children have pushed me to the edge of good sense and objective behavior.

What are we to do?

As a society we can take away peoples rights and livelihood, but, are we supposed to be judge and jury for every event that we struggle with or when we witness a moment of ill intended actions.

When the world is in chaos, we can still have our own inner peace and maintain a sense of calm in a sea of unrest. The job of Spirit is to literally heal our faulty perceptions in such a way as to allow true forgiveness to take place. Often, times of confusion are the times that enable us to find that part of ourselves that knows how to cope, and how to be a light to others in the storm. It helps to remember that we don’t need to completely understand what’s happening right now, nor do we need to be able to predict the future. Most of us just want to find our way to being at peace with whatever happens, and we can find this peace inside.  Heal our thinking, to allow true forgiveness.

“Blessings on your journey”



Doing the work

Day 86 from my book “Living and Dying”

Someone once said, “When words are inadequate, have a ritual.” Rituals help us to experience and express our deepest thoughts and feelings about the great events of our life. The funeral ritual has always been a public tradition that enables us to experience and express our faith, as well as our beliefs and feelings about a loved one who has encountered death.

I tell the story of the five-year-old constantly pulling at his mother’s dress as the minister conducted prayers over the casket and open grave. After the prayers were concluded, the minister came over to talk to the mother and the little boy. He asked the boy what the fussing was about. Without any hesitation, he walked over to the hole in the ground and pointed down into the grave at the grave box ready to receive his grandmother’s casket and asked, “Is that Heaven?” Out of the mouths of babes come the most amazing things.

I recall the evening we had to tell our five-year-old son that his Nana died. His response as he sat there in reflection of this information was, “Well, I guess that’s the end of her.” We laughed and it was good. He loved her very much, but he hadn’t had the many years we had had to establish a relationship with her. His five-year-old mind processed very clearly the information conveyed, it was simple to him.

I tell parents over and over, our grief is directly proportionate to the number of years we had shared in a relationship. Although it may have been a special relationship, a five-year-old does not have the emotional or the time investment in the relationship that we do and therefore, one should not expect too much struggle. In my advice to parents I suggest they deal with children at the child’s level, telling them as little as needed and only answering the questions they ask. They will ask more later if needed. Perhaps the most helpful thought I can offer is, as their parent, they are most concerned about you. Your reactions and non-reactions will be their barometer to how they react and behave. You are the focus in their lives when stress and struggle appear. If you are struggling, all they need is some assurance and honesty, and they will respond appropriately.

There is much information out there about the developmental stages of children and their response to loss, and most of this information is very good. Just remember you are the one they want to see healthy, happy and safe. If you do the work necessary for your healing, they will be fine.

”Blessings on you journey”


Thoughts on love

Day 85

Today I awoke with more thoughts about healing and about how we love ourselves and each other.

Often times when we express ourselves or speak of struggle or turmoil, we feel moved to tell those affected, how we should be or what we should do to correct it. Truly, if we could be one way or another, we would, and we would do it effortlessly.  I know what I speak of because as I look at some past experiences, I too have offered my life supportive and brilliant advice to many.  I do it because I think I’m really great at seeing peoples errors and fixing things in life, and perhaps I am.  It makes me laugh that we would think we can fix people or have any affect on others by offering our advice or thoughts on self improvement.  It also makes me laugh to think of why I did it.  While not 100% of the time, often I did it to free myself of witnessing their struggle. I also did it because it was frequently a reflection of a similar error I was having in my own life’s experience.  So really, who was the one who needed fixing?

Although I have spoken of this many times before, It is important to hear again. We are here to love each other, and that is all.  The love will do the work much easier and effectively then anything we could say or do.

Love ourselves and each other with all our successes and with all our seeming failures, love ourselves and each other with all our faults and struggles and love ourselves and each other with all the baggage too. At times that is a tough road to travel.  Sometimes it leaves us tired and hurting, sometimes it fills us with joy and peace.

If today is a struggle for me in any way, I’m going to just love that, and if today is a wonderful expression of joy and peace, I’m going to love that too.

”Blessings on your journey”





Day 84

Today I’m feeling tired.  Tired of this cold I have.  Tired of trying to getting my ideas and desires explained and executed.  Tired of the people I need to connect with not being on the same page. Just plain tired.

Our minds are powerful tools to be used by our higher selves; like computers, storing and using data to make certain connections between thought and response. We have the ability to observe these things and choose differently. No matter where the issue came from, we can create new connections by choosing new thoughts. When our souls and minds are in alignment, we create a new experience of reality. This journey requires many small steps, as well as patience and courage through the process. This is healing.

So today I’m just a little tired and I’m going to be OK with that.  I’m going to be Ok with my cold, stop trying so hard to get results and stop worrying about connection.  Let’s see what happens.

“Blessings on you journey”


Continued healing

Day 83 from my book “Living and Dying”

Times are continually changing and I am spending some very focused and purposeful time establishing a new direction for our funeral business. It is obvious to me that we all need to focus on the connections in our relationships, with each other and ourselves. It is through this effort that we realize cooperation, and the opportunities for continued healing. It is also obvious to me that we must engage in experiencing the struggles and challenges in our life to maintain a healthy life.
Marcel Proust is quoted as saying, “We don’t receive wisdom; we must discover it for ourselves after a journey that no one can take for us or spare us.”

Our new vision/mission statement is CELEBRATE life, HONOR the journey, and HEAL the mind body and spirit. Everything we do has to resonate with any one or all of these concepts.

Celebrate life means very clearly, LIFE in all of its conditions. Celebrate the experience, the love, the joy and peace, but also the pain, the suffering, the loss whatever the level or appearance. It is through the discovery of loss that we realize how much we loved, and that is a really good feeling, don’t miss it!

Honoring the journey is one of my favorite parts of the process of connection because it reflects the life experience we create as we navigate life’s journey. Personally, I have submerged myself in the stories of my life and have learned to re-write and edit along the way. If we can truly see our life as an honor, if we can truly embrace every moment good or bad and experience it to its fullest, we can experience a transformation. In my practice of this, it always leads to a place of surrendering, letting go of the painful thoughts that haunt me leaving me in a new, sometimes unfamiliar place, the new normal. Life was never intended to be perfect because we can’t control it. In fact, when do we really learn the most? When things are going great or when there’s a little challenge thrown in.

Healing the mind, body and spirit. Our daily experiences in living, loving, hurting and healing are so interconnected and happen so fast that we don’t even notice or actively embrace our role in this power to heal ourselves. It is important to distinguish what I mean when I use the term healing, healing to me means to “become whole again,” “complete.” When our lives are disrupted, or compromised in any way we experience a change from an old normal to a new normal a “loss.” Healing takes a conscious effort of realizing where we are, where we want to be and then developing a strategy to get there.


”Blessings on your journey”


Today’s gift

Day 82

Yesterday I had a phone conversation with my fellow flow group participants from last March in LA. Every so often we check in with each other and get caught up on how we are adjusting and living our authentic lives. The most remarkable part to me is how connected and alike our journey seems to be and how committed we are to each other’s well being and success.

It makes me think that all of our journeys are alike in that we all are connected and trying to adjust to living authentic lives. And that unlike my fellow friends and group members, some of us are not as committed to our success and well being.  If we were, our conversations  and communications would be much different.  There would be acknowledgment of our accomplishments and struggles and affirming words of our belief in each other.  There would be no judging, only love and there would be selfless acceptance of each other’s beauty and the gift we are to each other.

Today I will be thinking of you!!

”Blessings on your journey”